Sermon Notes

The Shame-Game

Genesis 2 & 3


The Looking Glass Self:

– I am not who I think I am.

– I am not who YOU think I am.

– I am who I think YOU think I am.

Charles Horton Cooley

Two Types of Mirrors

– Flat Mirror; accurate reflection

– Crazy Mirror; distorted image

Which kind of mirror are you?


– is a story we tell ourselves about ourselves.  It’s a feeling of being

unworthy and unwanted, unloved, unimportant.

– Guilt says, :I made a mistake”. Shame says, “I AM a mistake.”

Shame Triggers / Shame Scripts

– Shame triggers are the things that cause us to feel unwanted, unworthy,


– Shame scripts are the messages we say to ourselves or something someone   said to us, about us which creates a negative feedback loop that we play over and over again.

Naked – no Shame. (Genesis 2:25)

– The Hebrew word for shame literally comes from the root word “to hide”

– The opposite of shame is vulnerability

– The only way to break the power of shame is to confess it.

“Confess your sin to one another and pray for each other another, that you may be healed.”                                                                                                 –  James 5:16

The Entrance of Shame (Genesis 3:1-8)

– The enemy’s tactic:  Before original SIN, there is original DOUBT

“Did God really say…?”

– cognitive distortion: exaggerating situations in our minds.

Stopping Shame

– To stop shame, you have to do the hard work of identifying the lies that

have been told to and about you.

– You are who God says you are.

The Johari Window

Everybody is fighting a battle we know nothing about and it usually happens in this façade quadrant.

– This week’s assignment: Spend an hour asking this question.  2 Samuel 7:18 

“Who am I, Sovereign Lord…that you have brought me this far?”

– QUADRANT #2 is where Shame scripts live

– Two options:  An alter ego, or an altar ego; laying your pride, your shame,

your lust, your temper, putting it all at the foot of the Cross.

Three Games we play

– the fame game: “You will be like God”

– shame game: “keep hiding”

– the blame game: “the woman YOU put here made me do it.”